humorking:

my hobbies include looking at text posts and wondering how i didn’t think of them first

(via refreshes)

phobias:

Tumblr has given me a perfect sense of humour that’s shared by nobody at school

(via shouldnt)

wifiweed:

*goes to fancy restaurant orders the kids’ meal*

(via lipsitck)

hurpadootdoot:

romeoisadick:

inbox:

inbox:

in Canada they don’t pronounce Z as "zee"

they pronounce it as "zed" and that is crazy to me

it sounds like they made a typo when they invented it

They do that everywhere in the world that’s not America. We do that here in the UK too.
America is weird man.

(via confirmance)

koalatea:

to the window
to the wall
to the trash where i belong

(via refreshes)

kingorb:

*starts a group sext*

(via confirmance)

babycakesforboobear:

leedstentlovers:

unconventionalkitchenslave:

What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?

where you put the cucumber

image

(via asian)

lennon-in-the-sky-with-timelords:

So my cousin was in a gay pride parade and everything in her outfit and makeup was rainbow but she was wearing red contacts and while marching, a protester behind her yelled “You’re going straight to hell” and she turns around to face him with her fuCKING blood red eyes and she says “well duh, I got a kindom to run” and the protester nearly fucking passed out that is her legacy I want to be like her

(via help-forgot-how-to-human)

omidspissedoffcat:

my blogging technique is staying gone for a while and then posting 20 posts persecond

(via refreshes)